skellyscoo:

I thought my dad didn’t have the dad trope of telling bad dad jokes, BUT I WAS WRONG. Oh man. He’s a dork.

Anonymous asked:

My gf at the time and I were in my room late at night, she snuck over to my house and suddenly I hear yelling and a pounding on my door. Turns out my parents called the cops because they heard "weird noises". Best part was, she was one of the cops daughters. So at 230 in the morning I'm getting threatened and yelled at by 4 cops all while handcuffed in my underwear.

A Stormy Life. Answer:

fuckhardandcum:

Oh man
That’s something you never forget

Message me your most embarrassing sex story

sweetheart13lover

ccc0urtney:

thesirensaresingingyourname:

So, my girlfriend wakes up in the middle of the nights sometimes, and if she notices I’m not close to her, she taps my face until I wake up and just holds her arms open and says, “Come. Warmth.” And then falls back asleep when I do as told.

this is the cutest thing ever

(via dreams-amid-the-field)

Anonymous asked:

ok thanks! Just seems like that type always have bfs so idk watsup lol!:-)

A Stormy Life. Answer:

people all have their own opinions, I guess.

Anonymous asked:

does a girl have to be tan and skinny for you to think shes attractive?? i have this theory and im jw. Thanks!:-)

A Stormy Life. Answer:

what? no! Personally I like white chicks, like practically pasty, tan chicks are annoying because they always seem to want to work on their tan, when if I’m at th beach, I love the water, and there’s nothing wrong with whatever body type you have, My first girlfriend was really skinny and that didn’t bother and my last girlfriends was actually a little overweight. Even then I still find my self checking out women that CLEARLY weren’t the healthiest, but they were still hot to me.

dekutree:

girl: fuck me daddy

me: don’t call me daddy…call me dad

girl: ok…dad…are you gonna make me cum today?

me: ask your mother 

(via blastortoise)